Words That Win: Sentences That Convince and Impress Quickly

Picture two people asking the same manager for the same thing on the same afternoon. Tomas goes first. "Hi, sorry to bother you, I know you're really busy, I just wanted to quickly ask, and it's totally fine if not, but I was sort of wondering whether there might be any possibility of maybe looking at the budget for the training course at some point?" The manager nods, says "Leave it with me", and forgets about it before Tomas has reached the door.

Then Ngozi comes in. "I'd like your approval for the two-day data course in March. It costs 600, and it covers the reporting work I take over from Daniel in April, so I'd be ready on day one. Can you approve it this week?" The manager asks one question about dates and says yes.

Same manager, same budget, same kind of request. Ngozi is not smarter than Tomas, and she is not more senior. She used 40 words where he used 47, so the difference was not really length. What she did was build her sentences differently: the request came first, the numbers were real, the reason was about the team's work, and the ending asked for a decision. That is what this part of the series is about. Not vocabulary, not clever phrases, but the way ordinary sentences are put together so that people understand you quickly, believe you, and feel like saying yes.

In the earlier parts we worked on how you stand, how you sound and how you listen. Now we work on the words themselves. This is the most example-heavy part of the series on purpose. You will find more than sixty weak sentences with a stronger version beside each one, because this skill is learned by comparison, not by theory. Read the pairs aloud if you can. Your ear will learn faster than your eye.

The principle: what actually convinces people

Most people believe that impressive language is complicated language. Long words, formal phrases, a sentence that takes a breath and a half to finish. It is an understandable belief, because school often rewarded it. In real conversations it works the other way round. When a listener has to work hard to understand you, they do not think "how clever". They think "what does this person want?", and a little trust leaks away while they work it out.

After many years of watching people pitch, interview, negotiate and apologise, I would reduce convincing language to four qualities. A sentence convinces when it is:

• Clear. The listener understands it the first time, at the speed of speech, without rereading or asking you to repeat.
• Specific. It contains something that can be pictured or checked: a number, a name, a date, an example.
• About them. It connects to the listener's situation, problem or gain, not only to yours.
• Believable. It claims no more than you can support, and it sounds like a person who means what they say.

Notice what is not on the list: sounding educated, sounding enthusiastic, sounding important. Those are about the speaker. The four qualities are all about making the listener's job easy. That is the whole secret, and the rest of this article is practice in applying it.

Here is a quick demonstration. Imagine a shop assistant, Priya, talking to a customer who is looking at two kettles.

Weak: "This one offers superior performance characteristics and excellent value in its category."
Stronger: "This one boils a full kettle about a minute faster, and the lid comes off completely, so it's easy to clean. You said you have hard water, so that will matter to you."

The second version uses shorter words and sounds less "professional". It is also the one that sells the kettle. It is clear (a child could follow it), specific (a minute, the lid), about the customer (your hard water) and believable (it claims two modest things instead of "superior performance"). Simple language is not a lower level of language. It is the finished product. Complicated language is usually the draft.

One more thing before we start. Everything here is meant to be used honestly. The aim is to help a true and useful message get through, not to make a weak offer sound strong. Good sentences cannot rescue a bad idea for long, and they should not. I will point out the places where a technique can be abused, and show you where the line is.

Level 1: The basics of a clear sentence

We start with six habits. None of them is advanced. Together they fix most unconvincing speech, and people who master only this level already sound sharper than most of the room.

Keep sentences short

A listener cannot go back and reread. They hold your sentence in their head until it finishes, and if it runs for forty words, the beginning has faded before the end arrives. When you speak, aim for sentences you can say comfortably in one breath. In writing, if a sentence runs past two lines, look for the place to cut it in two.

Short does not mean choppy. A run of five-word sentences sounds like a telegram. Mix short and medium. Use the short one for the point you want remembered.

One idea per sentence

Long sentences are usually several ideas tied together with "and", "which" and "so". Untie them. Give each idea its own sentence and its own full stop. A full stop is a gift to the listener: a tiny pause to absorb what you said.

Choose concrete words over abstract ones

Abstract words name categories: "issues", "solutions", "resources", "challenges", "improvements". Concrete words name things: "a broken printer", "two extra drivers", "a refund". The test is simple. Can the listener picture it? Nobody can picture "a logistical challenge". Everybody can picture "the lorry arrived a day late".

Use the active voice

In an active sentence, someone does something: "I sent the report." In a passive sentence, something is done, and the doer disappears: "The report was sent." The passive has honest uses, for example when the doer is unknown or does not matter ("The bridge was built in the 1930s"). The problem is the habit of using it to hide. "Mistakes were made" convinces nobody. "I made a mistake with the dates" earns respect.

Put the main point first

Many of us were taught to build up to the point: background, then reasoning, then conclusion. In conversation and at work, reverse it. Say the point, then support it. If the listener is interrupted after ten seconds, they should already have the most important thing. Ngozi did this at the start of this article. Tomas spent his opening apologising.

Prefer plain words to jargon

Jargon is fine between people who share it. Two surgeons can talk in medical terms and save time. The trouble starts when you use your own field's language with someone outside it, or when you use business phrases that sound meaningful and say little. "Leverage our synergies" means "work together". So say "work together".

The six basics in action

A small warning about this level. Plain does not mean cold. "Send me the file" is plain and clear, and in many workplaces it is also rude. "Could you send me the file by three? I need it for the client call" is just as plain and far warmer. We will come back to warmth and culture later. For now, remember that clarity is about the structure of the sentence, not about removing politeness.

Level 2: Specific beats vague

If you change only one habit after reading this article, make it this one. Vague sentences are safe to say and easy to forget. Specific sentences take a little courage, because they can be checked, and that is exactly why they are believed.

Think about a job interview. The interviewer has heard "I'm a hard worker and a team player" from every candidate that week. The words pass through without leaving a mark. Then Mehmet says: "In my last job I noticed we were re-entering every order by hand. I built a simple spreadsheet that did it automatically, and it saved the team about four hours a week." The interviewer writes that down. Mehmet never said he was hard-working or clever. He did not need to. The detail said it for him.

There are four tools for making a sentence specific.

• Numbers. How many, how much, how long, how often. "Faster" becomes "two days faster". Use real numbers and round honestly. "About four hours" is fine. A number you made up is a lie, and it tends to be discovered.
• Names. Name the thing, the place, the tool, the team. "A client in the building trade" is better than "a client".
• Time frames. "Soon" means tomorrow to one person and next quarter to another. "By Thursday at noon" means the same to everyone.
• Examples. When a claim is general, add "for example" and give one case. One good example convinces more than three general statements.

A fair question: what if you do not have a number? Then do not invent one. Use an example instead, or describe what you saw. "I don't have exact figures, but last week I watched two customers give up at the payment page" is honest and still specific. Specific is about detail, not about statistics.

And a caution in the other direction. Do not bury people in detail. One strong number beats six. If you give a listener six figures in a minute, they remember none of them. Choose the detail that carries the point, say it, and stop.

Level 3: "You" language

Listen to almost any introduction, pitch or request and count the words "I", "me", "my", "we" and "our". Then count "you" and "your". In weak speech the first group wins by a long way. That is natural. We know our own situation best, so we describe it. The listener, meanwhile, is quietly asking one question the whole time: what does this mean for me?

"You" language answers that question before it is asked. You take a sentence about yourself and turn it around so that it describes the listener's situation or benefit.

Picture Lucia at a networking event in Madrid, talking to the owner of a small chain of bakeries.

First attempt: "We're a design agency. We've been going for eight years, we have twelve staff, and we've won two awards for our packaging work."
Second attempt: "You mentioned your cakes look the same on the shelf as everyone else's. That's the problem we work on: packaging that makes a customer pick up your box first."

Everything in the first attempt is true and none of it is about the baker. The second uses something he said (so the listening skills from Part 5 are doing the heavy lifting here) and describes his shelf, his box, his customer.

Two limits, so that you use this well.

First, "you" language must be true. If you say "you'll save a day a week" and they save an hour, you have damaged your name. Only promise the benefit you can deliver.

Second, "you" is the wrong word for blame. "You made a mistake in the report" puts the listener on the defensive. For problems, switch to "I" or to the thing itself: "I found a different total on page four. Can we check it together?" So the rule is: "you" for benefits, "I" or "we" for problems. We will use this again in the section on feedback.

Level 4: Confident, not arrogant

Go back to Tomas at the start. Almost every word he said before the request was a hedge or an apology: "sorry to bother you", "just", "quickly", "totally fine if not", "sort of", "might", "maybe", "at some point". Each one is small. Together they told the manager: this request is not important, and I do not expect you to agree.

Hedges are words that soften or shrink what you say. People use them to be polite, or to protect themselves from being wrong. The intention is kind. The effect is that the listener discounts the message.

The common hedges and what to say instead

A word about "Does that make sense?". It is not a terrible phrase, and many good speakers use it. The trouble comes when it follows every second sentence. Used once, after something complicated, it is a fair check. Used as a habit, it sounds like a request for reassurance.

Keep the honest uncertainty

Removing hedges does not mean pretending to be sure. That would be dishonest, and it is also risky, because people remember the confident forecast that turned out wrong. The skill is to separate what you know from what you do not, and to state each part plainly.

Habitual hedge: "I think it might possibly be ready around May, maybe."
Honest uncertainty: "The building work will finish in April. That part is certain. The inspection date is outside our control. My best estimate for opening is mid-May, and I'll confirm as soon as the inspection is booked."

The second speaker is more uncertain in fact (she has named a real unknown) and sounds far more reliable. She has told you what is solid, what is not, and what she will do about it. Useful phrases for this: "What I know is...", "What I don't know yet is...", "My best estimate is...", "I'm confident about X and less sure about Y."

Where confidence ends and arrogance begins

Some readers hold back because they are afraid of sounding arrogant. The two are easy to tell apart once you see the difference. Confidence is about your facts and your view. Arrogance is about your rank compared to other people. Confidence leaves room for the other person. Arrogance closes it.

Look at the middle column. Every confident sentence does two things: it states the speaker's position clearly, and it leaves a door open for others (crediting Ravi, wanting Hana's view, being open to correction). That combination is what people describe when they say someone is "impressive but easy to work with".

How direct you should be also depends on where you are and who you are talking to. In some workplaces and cultures, a sentence like "I recommend we delay" from a junior person to a senior one is welcomed. In others it needs more cushioning to be heard as respectful. We will deal with that properly in the advanced section. For now, the principle holds everywhere: remove the hedges that come from habit and fear, and keep the softening that comes from real respect or real doubt.

Level 5: Give reasons

A request on its own asks the listener to trust you. A request with a reason lets them judge for themselves, and people are far more willing to agree to something they understand. The most useful word for this is "because".

There is a well-known experiment from the 1970s in which a researcher asked people waiting at a photocopier if she could go ahead of them. When she gave a reason with the word "because", more people let her in than when she simply asked. For a small favour, even a thin reason helped. When the favour was bigger, a thin reason stopped working and only a real one made a difference. That second half is the part people forget when they retell it. The lesson is not that "because" is a magic word. The lesson is that people expect a reason, and for anything that costs them something, it has to be a good one.

The four-step point

When you need to convince someone of something larger than a favour, use this structure. It works in a meeting, an interview answer, a sales call and an argument at the dinner table.

1. Claim. Say what you believe or recommend, in one sentence.
2. Reason. Say why, in one or two sentences.
3. Example. Give one case, number or observation that shows it.
4. What it means for you. Connect it to the listener's situation, and say what you would like to happen next.

Picture Kwame, a team leader in a warehouse in Accra, speaking to the operations manager.

Claim: "I think we should start the morning shift at six instead of seven."
Reason: "The lorries arrive from half past five, and for the first hour and a half there's nobody to unload them."
Example: "Last Tuesday four lorries were queuing at the gate when we opened, and two drivers left late for their next drop."
What it means for you: "An earlier start would clear that queue without adding any hours, and you'd stop getting those calls from the transport company. Could we trial it for two weeks?"

That takes about thirty seconds to say. Compare it with the usual version: "The mornings are a bit of a mess, to be honest, something needs to change." That sentence is a complaint. Kwame's version is a proposal, and a manager can say yes to a proposal.

The same frame answers interview questions. "Why should we hire you?" Claim: "Because I can take the monthly reporting off your team from the first week." Reason: "I've done the same reports in the same software for three years." Example: "At my current job I cut the monthly close from six days to four." Meaning: "Your advert said the team is stretched at month end. That's the part I'd take on first."

Level 6: Positive framing

The same fact can be said as a wall or as a door. "We're closed until nine" and "We open at nine" contain identical information. One tells you what you cannot have. The other tells you what you can. Listeners react to the shape as well as the content.

Positive framing is not pretending that everything is fine. The fact does not change. You simply lead with what is possible, because that is the part the listener can act on.

The trouble with "but"

"But" tells the listener to forget what came before it. "Your report was good, but the ending needs work" is heard as "the ending needs work". "I love you, but..." has never been followed by good news. When the first half of your sentence matters, do not cancel it.

You have three replacements. Use "and" when both things are true at once. Use a full stop when they are separate thoughts. Or reverse the order, so the good news comes last and is the part remembered.

Do not use "and" to disguise a real disagreement. If you do not agree, say so clearly (the next section shows how). The point is only to stop cancelling things you mean.

Saying no gracefully

A good "no" has three parts: a clear refusal, a short true reason, and, if you have one, an alternative. What it does not have is a long apology or an invented excuse. Invented excuses get found out, and they invite the other person to solve your fake problem ("Oh, you're busy Tuesday? Wednesday, then").

Weak: "Oh, I'm so sorry, I'd really love to, it's just that things are a bit crazy right now, I'm not sure, let me see, maybe..."
Stronger: "Thank you for asking me. I can't take this on, because I've promised the audit by the end of the month. If it can wait until the first week of June, I'd be glad to."

Other forms that work: "That's not something I can do. What I can do is..." and "I have to say no to this one. I'd rather tell you now than let you down later." Said warmly, a clear no is more respectful than a vague maybe.

Level 7: Sentences for common moments

Here are eleven moments that come up again and again. For each, you get a weak version to recognise and several stronger options. Do not memorise them word for word. Borrow the structure and put it into your own way of speaking, or it will sound like a script.

Asking for something

Weak: "I don't suppose you'd have time to look at my CV at some point?"

• "Could you look at my CV this week? It's one page, and I'd value your view on the summary at the top."
• "I have a favour to ask. Would you introduce me to Chen? I'd like to ask her about working in Singapore."

The pattern: what you want, how big it is, why them.

Asking for a raise or a decision

Weak: "I was wondering if there's any chance of a pay review, as things are quite expensive at the moment."

• "I'd like to discuss my salary. Since my last review I've taken over the two largest accounts and trained three new staff. I'm asking for a move to the senior band."
• "I need a decision on the supplier by Friday, so we can order before prices change on the first. My recommendation is the second one. Are you happy for me to go ahead?"
• "What would you need to see from me to approve this?"

Base a raise request on what you have contributed, not on what you need. Your rent is real, and it is not your employer's reason to pay more. Your results are.

Disagreeing politely

Weak: "No, that's wrong." Also weak: saying nothing and complaining afterwards.

• "I see it differently. May I explain why?"
• "I agree about the goal. I have a concern about the timing."
• "Can I offer another way of looking at it?"
• "I may be missing something. How does this work for the night shift?"

That last one is a real question, not a hedge, because you are asking for information you lack.

Giving praise that lands

Weak: "Good job, everyone."

• "Aiko, the way you calmed that customer down on Tuesday kept the account. Thank you."
• "Your summary on page one saved me an hour. I sent it straight to the director."

The pattern: name the person, name what they did, name the effect. Specific praise is believed. General praise is background noise.

Giving feedback

Weak: "You're always late and it's unprofessional."

• "You arrived after nine on three days this week. When that happens, Femi covers the phones alone. What's getting in the way?"
• "In the presentation, the first five slides were background. I lost the thread until slide six. Next time, could you start with the recommendation?"

Describe what you observed, say what effect it had, then ask or request. Avoid "always" and "never". They are rarely true, and the listener will argue with the word instead of hearing the point.

Apologising properly

Weak: "I'm sorry if anyone was offended." Also weak: "Sorry, but I was very busy."

• "I'm sorry. I sent the wrong price, and it cost you a morning. I've sent the correct quote, and from now on a colleague checks every quote before it goes out."
• "I was wrong to interrupt you in the meeting. I apologise. I'd like to hear the rest of your point."

A real apology names what you did, accepts it without "if" or "but", and says what you will do to repair it. Then it stops. One clear apology is worth more than ten anxious ones.

Saying you do not know

Weak: a confident guess. Also weak: "Um, I'm not sure, sorry, I should know that."

• "I don't know. I'll find out and tell you by four o'clock."
• "That's outside what I've worked on. Isabel is the right person, and I can introduce you."
• "I don't have that figure with me, and I'd rather not guess."

People trust those who admit the edge of their knowledge, because it makes everything else they say more believable.

Buying time to think

Weak: a long "ummm", or a rushed answer you regret.

• "Let me think about that for a moment." (Then actually pause. The silence feels longer to you than to them.)
• "I'd like to give you a proper answer. Can I come back to you tomorrow morning?"
• "Before I answer, can I check what you mean by 'flexible'?"

Asking for a meeting

Weak: "We should catch up sometime."

• "Could we meet for twenty minutes next week? I'd like your advice on the Lagos launch. Tuesday or Thursday afternoon would suit me, and I'm happy to fit around you."
• "Would you be open to a short call? I have two questions about how you moved into product management."

The pattern: the length, the purpose, and two options. Make it easy to say yes without a chain of messages.

Following up without nagging

Weak: "Just checking in again, sorry to chase..."

• "I'm following up on the proposal I sent on the 3rd. Is there anything I can add that would help you decide?"
• "I know this is a busy month for you. Would it be more useful if I came back in two weeks?"
• "Since we spoke, we've finished the trial I mentioned. The results are attached, in case they're useful for your decision."

A good follow-up brings something: a new fact, a useful question, or an easy way out. Give people a comfortable way to say no. A clear no frees both of you, and people who are not cornered often come back later.

Closing a conversation

Weak: "Anyway... so... yeah." Or looking over their shoulder for an escape.

• "I've really enjoyed this. I'm going to say hello to a few more people before the evening ends. May I send you that article tomorrow?"
• "I should let you get back to your day. So I'll send the draft on Monday, and you'll reply by Wednesday. Thank you for your time."
• "That's everything I needed. Thank you, this was useful."

End with what happens next, and with thanks. The last sentence is the one people carry away.

Level 8: Questions and evidence

Ask instead of telling

People defend conclusions they were told and keep conclusions they reached. So when you can, ask the question that lets the listener say the point themselves.

Picture Elena, who sells booking software, on a video call with Bilal, who runs a dental clinic.

Telling: "You're losing money on missed appointments. You need automatic reminders."

Asking:
Elena: "How many patients miss their appointment in a normal week?"
Bilal: "Six or seven, I'd say."
Elena: "And what happens to that slot?"
Bilal: "It's empty. It's too late to fill it."
Elena: "What would it be worth to you if half of those patients turned up?"
Bilal: "Quite a lot, now that I add it up."

Bilal has just convinced himself, using his own numbers. The honest version of this technique has one condition: you must be ready to accept the answer. If Bilal had said "hardly anyone misses", Elena's honest reply is "Then reminders aren't your problem", not a second attempt to steer him. Questions asked only to trap someone into agreeing are felt as a trap.

Show your evidence

A claim is as strong as what stands behind it. In rough order of strength:

• A demonstration. "Let me show you" beats any description. "It's easy to use" is a claim. Handing over the tablet is proof.
• A specific example. "A bakery with two shops started using it in March. Here's what changed for them."
• Other people's experience. A real customer's words, with their permission. Never an invented or polished quote.
• Your own record. What you have done, with detail.

Weak: "Trust me, it works." Stronger: "Don't take my word for it. Try it on your own figures for a week."

Admit a weakness

This feels backwards and works well. When you name a real limit of your offer, the listener relaxes, because now they are dealing with someone who tells the truth. Your strengths become more believable.

The weakness must be real, not a disguised boast ("my weakness is that I work too hard"). Everyone has heard that one.

Level 9: The principles of influence, used honestly

The psychologist Robert Cialdini described a set of principles that explain why people say yes, and they are widely taught in sales and marketing. Six are best known. They describe ordinary human behaviour, so you will meet them every day, and each can be used fairly or unfairly. The test is always the same: is what I am saying true, and would the person still thank me if they knew exactly what I was doing?

So here is the line, stated once and clearly. Never invent scarcity. Never fake urgency. Never make up social proof. Never exaggerate what your product or you can do. These are not clever techniques with a small ethical cost. They are lies, and in many countries some of them also break consumer protection rules.

There is a practical argument too. Pressure can win one sale. It loses the second, the referral and your reputation. The customer who felt hurried into signing is the one who cancels, complains and tells friends. If a deadline is real, say so plainly and explain why it exists. If there is no deadline, say: "There's no rush. Take the time you need." It is surprising how often that sentence is the one that wins the trust, and later the business.

Level 10: Advanced craft

Everything so far makes you clear and credible. This level adds the things that make a sentence stay in someone's head. Use them lightly. One well-placed device in a talk is memorable. Ten is a performance.

Rhythm and the rule of three

Groups of three feel complete to the ear. Two items feel like a pair, four feel like a list, three feel like a statement. "It's faster, cheaper and easier to repair." Put the longest or strongest item last. Also vary sentence length: two medium sentences, then a short one. The short one lands.

Weak: "Our service is fast and it's also reliable, and another thing is that it's not expensive." Stronger: "It's fast. It's reliable. And it costs less than you pay now."

Contrast

Put two things side by side and the difference does the persuading. "Last year this took a week. Now it takes a morning." The pattern "not this, but that" is useful, in moderation: "You're not buying software. You're buying your Fridays back."

Repetition

In writing, repetition can look lazy. In speech, it is a handrail. Repeat your key phrase at the start, the middle and the end of a talk, in the same words, so that people leave able to say it themselves. If your point is "test before we build", say exactly that three times, not three elegant variations.

Analogy and metaphor

An analogy explains something new through something familiar. Weak: "A firewall filters network traffic according to security rules." Stronger, to a non-technical client: "A firewall is like a doorman. It checks everyone coming in and turns away anyone not on the list." Choose comparisons from the listener's world, not yours, and remember that sports and food references do not travel equally well across countries. Then drop the analogy once it has done its job. Pushed too far, every analogy breaks.

Framing and anchoring

Framing is choosing which true description to lead with. "This costs 365 a year" and "This costs one a day" are the same price, and they feel different. Anchoring is the well-documented tendency for the first number mentioned to pull later judgements towards it. If you say your usual fee first, a later discount is measured against it.

Both are fair when the numbers are real and relevant. Both become deception when they are not: a "was" price that was never charged, or a comparison chosen to mislead. Honest anchor: "Replacing the machine would cost about 8,000. This repair is 900 and should give you another three years."

Handling a hostile question

Someone in the audience says: "Why should we believe you when the last project failed?" The weak responses are to defend ("That's not fair"), to attack ("You clearly haven't read the report") or to dodge. Do this instead.

1. Pause and breathe. The voice control from Part 4 matters here.
2. Restate the question in neutral words: "You're asking what's different this time."
3. Agree with what is true: "The last project was late, and that was our responsibility."
4. Answer briefly, with a fact: "This time we've tested with two real customers before building anything."
5. Return to the whole room, not only to the questioner.

Do not repeat their loaded words. If they say "disaster", you say "the delay".

Direct and indirect cultures

Communication styles differ between countries, companies and families. In more direct settings (often associated with places such as the Netherlands, Germany or Israel, though individuals vary widely), a plain "I disagree" is normal and even respectful. In more indirect settings (often associated with Japan, Indonesia or Thailand, and with many workplaces where hierarchy is strong), open disagreement, especially with a senior person or in front of others, can cause embarrassment, and a "no" may be expressed as "that would be difficult" or "let us study it".

Neither style is better. Treat these as tendencies, never as rules about a person. Watch how your listener phrases things and move towards them. When in doubt, be clear about the content and gentle in the delivery, and raise disagreements in private.

Writing versus speaking

A reader can go back. A listener cannot. So spoken sentences should be shorter, with more repetition and a signpost now and then ("Two reasons. First..."). Written messages can carry more detail, and they need more care with tone, because there is no face or voice to soften them. A message that would sound friendly aloud can read as cold. Read important messages out loud before sending. If you run out of breath, the sentence is too long.

Short messages and subject lines

Many people read only the subject line and the first sentence. Put the action and the date there.

In the message itself: the request in the first line, the reason in the second, details after that for those who want them. One message, one subject. And never use capital letters or "URGENT" for something that is not.

Common mistakes

• Warming up for too long. Three sentences of apology and background before the point. Start with the point.
• Trying to sound impressive. Long words and borrowed business phrases. They make you sound like everyone else.
• Overcorrecting into bluntness. Removing hedges and removing the courtesy along with them. Keep "please", "thank you" and the person's name.
• Exaggerating. "Always", "never", "the best", "huge". One exaggeration makes the listener doubt your true statements.
• Too many points. Seven reasons are weaker than the best two, because in my experience the weak ones dilute the strong ones.
• Using scripts word for word. Borrowed sentences sound borrowed. Keep the structure, change the words.
• Forgetting the ending. Making a good case and then trailing off without asking for anything. Say what you would like to happen next.
• Talking past the yes. Once they agree, stop persuading. Say thank you and confirm the next step.

Practice

Reading these pairs will not change how you speak. Rewriting your own sentences will. Give these exercises two weeks.

Exercise 1: Rewrite five of your own messages

Open your sent messages and choose five recent ones where you asked for something. Rewrite each: request first, one reason, a specific date, hedges removed. Allow about twenty minutes. Measure progress by counting hedge words ("just", "sorry", "maybe", "sort of") before and after, and by noting over the next fortnight how quickly people reply to your new-style messages.

Exercise 2: The 20-word challenge

Take something you need to explain this week: your job, your project, your request. Say it in twenty words or fewer. Write it, count, cut, repeat. Ten minutes a day for a week, a different subject each day. You are improving when the first draft arrives closer to twenty words without effort.

Exercise 3: The "so what?" test

Write three statements about yourself or your product. After each, ask "so what?" from the listener's side, and write the answer. "I speak four languages." So what? "So I can deal with your suppliers in Turkey and Brazil directly, without a translator." Keep the second sentence. Five minutes before any interview or pitch.

Exercise 4: Record one minute

Once a week, record yourself making a request or giving an opinion for one minute. Listen once and count fillers and hedges. Write the number down. Do not aim for zero, which sounds robotic. Aim for fewer than last week.

Exercise 5: One reason a day

For seven days, attach a real reason to every request you make, at home and at work. Notice how the answers change.

One-page summary

Phrases to drop and phrases to use

Checklist before you speak or send

• Is my main point in the first sentence?
• Could a twelve-year-old follow the words?
• Is there at least one number, name, date or example?
• Have I said what it means for the listener?
• Have I given a real reason?
• Have I cut the habitual hedges and kept the honest doubt?
• Is every claim true, and would I be comfortable if they checked it?
• Have I led with what is possible?
• Does it fit this person and this culture?
• Have I ended with a clear next step?

You now have sentences that are clear, specific, about the listener and believable. That is enough to be understood and trusted. It is not always enough to be remembered. A week after a meeting, people have forgotten most of your well-built points, and what they still recall is the short account of the customer who nearly left, or the morning everything went wrong. Facts convince in the moment. Stories are what people carry home and repeat to others. In Part 7, Storytelling: How to Make People Remember What You Said, we will take the examples you have learned to use here and turn them into short stories with a beginning, a turning point and a meaning, told in under two minutes.